The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
