my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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