We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
