i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
