I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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