what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
