remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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