bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
