Just mADE A PArabola og urine
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
did you just send me my own nude
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
