I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
