i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
