My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
