it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
