I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
