it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
