I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
