I look better un-naked...
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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