So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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