I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
