I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
