I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
