i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
This house was built for laser tag.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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