Swine flu. Run for my life!
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
