she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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