When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
