we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
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