this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
