Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
