he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
