marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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