Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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