i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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