Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
