i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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