Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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