so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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