And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
