not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
