They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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