How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
