He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
