eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
