garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
There's always time for handjobs
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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