He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
