That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
