I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
