I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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