On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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