when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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