honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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